Category Archives: General

Expectations

One of the issues I’ve been thinking about in my intimate relationships, and in particular this last one, is the role expectation plays in success or failure. My expectations were pretty basic I thought.  I wanted a partner.  Someone who could help to support our household.  Someone who would plan for our future with me.  Someone who felt that contributing to our marriage and household was important.  Someone that I could share my dreams and hopes with.  A simple life.  And in the beginning, Jay seemed interested […]

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Cognitive Dissonance in Relationships with ASPD partners

Just a reminder – I am not a professional mental health expert.  As with everything on this site, the following is based on my own, deeply personal experience. I only came to fully realize that I was involved with, and married to, a partner with ASPD during the discard phase of our relationship. Because of the way it ended, I started looking for any information that I could find that would help with my own mental health.  ASPD checked almost all of the boxes in terms of […]

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Today was a bad day…

Just when I think I am making progress in moving on, something derails me. Today it was trying to move my old photos from my laptop onto the desktop before I lose them completely. I’m still too raw I guess.  Reliving the memories is so damn difficult. There was so much love and promise and happiness in our old photos! Even though I now know it was a facade on Jay’s side, back then I didn’t. I thought he was feeling what I was. The joy in […]

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