Just when I think I am making progress in moving on, something derails me. Today it was trying to move my old photos from my laptop onto the desktop before I lose them completely. I’m still too raw I guess. Reliving the memories is so damn difficult. There was so much love and promise and happiness in our old photos! Even though I now know it was a facade on Jay’s side, back then I didn’t. I thought he was feeling what I was. The joy in […]
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Oh my god. If I see one more motivational, positivity post about not wishing pain on someone who has harmed you but to wish them healing instead, I’m going to just scream. Be the better person. That’s great and all. The theory is that the person only harmed you because they were in pain themselves. Right. That may very well be true when dealing with ‘normal’ people, but people with ASPD don’t feel love and don’t feel pain. They don’t feel much of anything! And inflicting pain […]
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When someone tells you they are lazy, believe them. I always thought that laziness was simply a result of bad habits. In other words, once you got into the habit of being lazy, it was easier to stay that way, and harder to make any kind of effort to overcome it. And, if you were willing to put in any effort, laziness was temporary. The definition of Laziness (from Definition.com of course) is: a disinclination to activity or exertion despite having the ability to do so. It […]
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Do you believe in the Law of Attraction? That what you spend your energy thinking about will come to pass in your life? That good attracts good and bad attracts bad? Ever since I was a young girl, fear of financial disaster has plagued me. My dad was the type of guy who could quit his job on a whim, despite the fact that he was the sole support in a household with 5 kids and a wife. A wife that he simply did not want to […]
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I’m struggling with the strong feeling of vengeance that I have in my heart. It feels black and ugly and unhealthy to hold onto this. Yet, it is so very hard to forgive what has been almost a fatal wound for me. I logically understand that forgiveness is for ME – so I can move on with my life without hanging onto something that is over. Emotionally, I am just having a really, really hard time with it. After 20 years of knowing each other, and 9.5 […]
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What does taking responsibility mean in the context of a relationship with a sociopath, narcissist or person with ASPD? An alcoholic or someone who is mentally ill? Where I struggle with all of the personal responsibility gurus and their messages is when they tell you if you would just take personal responsibility for your part in what happened, you’ll get better. While that sounds right on the surface, how do you take responsibility for being manipulated? For what you didn’t know? For the fact that you’ve never […]
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