Author Archives: Jae

LOVE, GRATITUDE Affirmations while you SLEEP! Program Your Mind for Universal Connection. POWERFUL!

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9Hrs Change your BELIEFS and PAST CONDITIONING. Learn to LOVE YOURSELF, feel GRATEFUL and connect to UNIFIED DIVINE CONSCIOUSNESS, while you SLEEP! POWERFUL affirmations and information with calm ocean sounds and deeply relaxing sleep music, 528Hz. Download or Stream the 1.5 hr version to any device, worldwide on iTunes, Spotify – GooglePlay or Amazon MP3: Search "RISING HIGHER MEDITATION" iTunes: https://goo.gl/hYDrZU Spotify:https://goo.gl/F2SW7S GooglePlay: https://goo.gl/bhJ8R2 Apple: https://goo.gl/hYDrZU or Amazon MP3: https://goo.gl/7vV6j1 CD Baby MP3 Download: https://goo.gl/XhUDVC The words 'I AM" have potent and reality changing frequencies. Whatever feelings […]

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Cognitive Dissonance in Relationships with ASPD partners

ASPD, General, My Story

Just a reminder – I am not a professional mental health expert.  As with everything on this site, the following is based on my own, deeply personal experience. I only came to fully realize that I was involved with, and married to, a partner with ASPD during the discard phase of our relationship. Because of the way it ended, I started looking for any information that I could find that would help with my own mental health.  ASPD checked almost all of the boxes in terms of […]

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Anger has saved me in the past

Mindfulness, My Story

Why can’t I use it now? Almost every time I’ve made a huge change in my life, some amount of anger has been involved in pushing me to the final step.  Pissed off my parents as a teenager? Got thrown out. Pissed off at job? Find a new one. Pissed off in a relationship? Time to get out.  Angry at something that happened or was said? Change the environment or the narrative. Something is different now, though.  Anger doesn’t fuel my big decisions anymore.  I’m much more […]

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Reclaiming the joy in music

Daily Living, Music, My Story

Music has been a form of meditation and peace for me.  Getting lost in the rhythm, lyrics and meaning has always been a particular love of mine.  When I am feeling down, music has been my go to for relief. I don’t know about you, but my life has always had a soundtrack. Jay and I shared a true love of music (I think…).  He was a ‘musician’ of sorts… noodling on his guitars brought him some measure of happiness.  Or, that is the image he portrayed […]

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Today was a bad day…

Daily Living, General, My Story

Just when I think I am making progress in moving on, something derails me. Today it was trying to move my old photos from my laptop onto the desktop before I lose them completely. I’m still too raw I guess.  Reliving the memories is so damn difficult. There was so much love and promise and happiness in our old photos! Even though I now know it was a facade on Jay’s side, back then I didn’t. I thought he was feeling what I was. The joy in […]

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The struggle to be the better person

ASPD, My Story

Oh my god.  If I see one more motivational, positivity post about not wishing pain on someone who has harmed you but to wish them healing instead, I’m going to just scream. Be the better person.  That’s great and all.   The theory is that the person only harmed you because they were in pain themselves.  Right. That may very well be true when dealing with ‘normal’ people, but people with ASPD don’t feel love and don’t feel pain.  They don’t feel much of anything! And inflicting pain […]

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I AM Affirmations while you SLEEP for Confidence, Success, Wealth, Health & Spiritual Alignment

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6Hrs Change your Beliefs and PAST CONDITIONING while you SLEEP! POWERFUL!! 'I AM' Affirmations for a wonderful LIFE with super RELAXING SLEEP MUSIC. Download or Stream the 2-hour version to any device, worldwide on iTunes, Spotify – GooglePlay or Amazon MP3: Search "RISING HIGHER MEDITATION" iTunes: https://goo.gl/XC82EH Spotify: https://goo.gl/aizvgA GooglePlay: https://goo.gl/6WuerY Apple: https://goo.gl/XC82EH or Amazon MP3: https://goo.gl/mykvEf CD Baby MP3 Download: https://goo.gl/Nfvy9V The words 'I AM" have potent and reality changing frequencies. Whatever words, feelings or intentions you put after the words I AM will create your […]

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Laziness and Irresponsibility

ASPD, Daily Living

When someone tells you they are lazy, believe them. I always thought that laziness was simply a result of bad habits. In other words, once you got into the habit of being lazy, it was easier to stay that way, and harder to make any kind of effort to overcome it. And, if you were willing to put in any effort, laziness was temporary. The definition of Laziness (from Definition.com of course) is: a disinclination to activity or exertion despite having the ability to do so. It […]

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LOA, Fear and Subconscious

My Story

Do you believe in the Law of Attraction? That what you spend your energy thinking about will come to pass in your life? That good attracts good and bad attracts bad? Ever since I was a young girl, fear of financial disaster has plagued me. My dad was the type of guy who could quit his job on a whim, despite the fact that he was the sole support in a household with 5 kids and a wife. A wife that he simply did not want to […]

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Is Social Media Impacting Your Mental Health?

Your Mind

Good lord – the BS that is Social Media and how it impacts my personal mental health Social media has become the defacto way of staying in touch and informing the world of what is going on in your life. Most people use it daily. Many people have lost all sense of decorum and privacy when posting online for the world to see. Jay and I are living in completely different countries now. We’ve spent periods of time apart before due to job circumstances, and always stayed […]

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